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fr3db3ar

Member Since 06 Aug 2011
Offline Last Active Today, 02:46 PM
*****

#356447 jocularity

Posted by fr3db3ar on 09 April 2021 - 03:42 PM

When a crawfish looks at a lobster what do they see?
A body builder? A model?
Do they worship them as gods?
I need answers.

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#356411 jocularity

Posted by fr3db3ar on 07 April 2021 - 10:00 AM

$15 per Hour. Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender. Since the minimum wage was increased to $15 the owner had to replace his regular human bartender. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says,” 168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious..So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini,” and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Biden?”

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#356077 jocularity

Posted by fr3db3ar on 10 March 2021 - 04:37 PM

Guy: doctor my girlfriend is pregnant but I always use protection. How can that be?
Doctor: let me tell you a story. There was once a hunter who always carries a gun wherever he goes. One day he takes an umbrella instead. A lion suddenly jumps out in front of him. In order to scare the lion he holds the umbrella like a gun and shoots the lion. The lion died.
Guy: NONSENSE!! Someone else must've shot the lion.
Doctor: glad you understood the story.

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#354891 whoopee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Posted by fr3db3ar on 11 January 2021 - 06:11 PM

Congrats. Its a great feeling to be debt free. Except you still have to pay your rent twice a year.

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#354215 jocularity

Posted by fr3db3ar on 22 December 2020 - 06:24 PM

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Officer: Age?

Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.

Officer: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

OFFICER : Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

OFFICER : Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think.

OFFICER : Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

OFFICER : What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?

Husband : A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 .with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera,
Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch,
sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.
It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up.

OFFICER : Take it easy sir, We'll find your truck.
[emoji602] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji602]

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#353867 jocularity

Posted by fr3db3ar on 09 December 2020 - 06:50 PM

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.
A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."
Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.
When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open."
He zipped up and finished his shopping.
At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the girl was that told him about his "barracks door."
He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?"
The girl thought for a moment and said:
"No, no I didn't....... but I saw a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags."..

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#353773 jocularity

Posted by fr3db3ar on 05 December 2020 - 05:25 PM

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."

I saw this with the Lone Ranger and Tonto.

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#353395 Our deer season so far

Posted by fr3db3ar on 17 November 2020 - 10:08 AM

Great job. Fill the freezer.

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#353393 New Coyote Hunting Video - Almost Blew It

Posted by fr3db3ar on 17 November 2020 - 10:07 AM

Love your videos.

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#353013 Wolves Delisted

Posted by fr3db3ar on 30 October 2020 - 10:57 AM

They're not done with this one yet. Guaranteed.

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#352587 Best call over deer carcass

Posted by fr3db3ar on 08 October 2020 - 05:49 AM

Feeding coyotes?

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#350415 Allis to the Rescue

Posted by fr3db3ar on 05 May 2020 - 09:25 AM

[emoji106]

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#350291 How Are Members Handling The Pandemic !!

Posted by fr3db3ar on 23 April 2020 - 03:32 AM

That's good news Glen. I work in the water market so we are "essential". I feel blessed to still have a check while many are fighting for unemployment. Although a Covid vacation has its appeal.
Ive been working from home for 3 weeks.
Our supervisor is concerned that corporate might decide we dont need buyers on site so we are now alternating days in the office to help, show the need and still maintain some reasonable sort of social distancing.
I'll revert to my old self for a moment, quarantine those at high risk, let the rest go back to life as you knew it.
This WILL make its rounds so lets just get it over with now.
We've spread out the curve they claimed to be concerned about.
This is a virus. They are not going to find a cure and it seems to mutate enough that we will not not have a vaccine. Its not small pox.
For those that demand a vaccination cert or a chip.
KMA.

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#350055 Hello, scorpion optics?

Posted by fr3db3ar on 12 April 2020 - 08:09 AM

I dont, but i do run a Sightmark Citadel. Check them out. FFP 3-18 or 5-30 very fine crosshair.

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#349735 How Are Members Handling The Pandemic !!

Posted by fr3db3ar on 30 March 2020 - 03:48 AM

At least two of my doubles could have been taken with a Handi. Nice rifle Glen.

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