jocularity - Page 74 - The Member's Cabin - Predator Hunting / Calling / Trapping Forums, Blogs, Hunting Logs and Articles. - PredatorTalk.com - Page 74

Jump to content



Sponsored Links

Sponsored Links


Photo
* * * * * 3 votes

jocularity


  • Please log in to reply
1506 replies to this topic

#1461 glenway

glenway

    Michigan Lifer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6100 posts
  • Location:Shiawassee County, MI

Posted 05 July 2020 - 08:08 AM

They probably meant to hang it that way to attract attention.  Guess it worked.

Attached Files



#1462 youngdon

youngdon

    Prolific Member.....

  • PredatorTalk Pro-staff
  • 22893 posts
  • Location:Goodyear AZ

Posted 05 July 2020 - 11:45 AM


FBI HIRES HILUIGI CLINTONELLI TO GUARD GHISLAINE MAXWELL!


Attached File  9D397208-27BD-4B31-855E-829D1D907E25.jpeg   48.14KB   4 downloads

                          Tree Branch Calls

      

 

Never kick a dead coyote, especially one that ain't dead when your gun is still in the kitchen. Just ask your favorite Yooper what will happen. But if its a bobcat in a 330 coni and you think he's dead,,,,,Think again..

                                                       

                                                         

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please God, don't take Kevin Bacon !

 

 

 

RIP Chris Miller

 

 


#1463 glenway

glenway

    Michigan Lifer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6100 posts
  • Location:Shiawassee County, MI

Posted 06 July 2020 - 01:49 AM

?

Attached Files



#1464 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 06 July 2020 - 05:28 AM

?

 

another case for education overhaul


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1465 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 06 July 2020 - 05:28 AM

Attached File  wait-until-the-people-who-just-want-to-left-alone-get-involved.jpg   25.88KB   3 downloads


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1466 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 07 July 2020 - 05:26 AM

How can you tell if being a suicide bomber
guarantees you blessings in the afterlife ? You have to C-4 yourself.


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1467 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 08 July 2020 - 05:26 AM

A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer "How long will it take me to get to the next town?"

The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes.”

“Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?"

“Didn't know how fast you could walk".


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1468 catcapper

catcapper

    Master Trapper/Predator Hunter

  • PredatorTalk Pro-staff
  • 3604 posts
  • Location:Up High in the Great Colorado Rocky Mountains Westcliffe,CO.

Posted 08 July 2020 - 04:33 PM

Good old country logic :cowboy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:pawprint:


If you run you'll only die tired





"All Wild Things"



Nuisance Wildlife Control


#1469 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 09 July 2020 - 05:25 AM

A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.

While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.

"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."

Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1470 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 10 July 2020 - 05:33 AM

cop: " got any ID ?"

drunk redneck: "bout wut?"


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1471 catcapper

catcapper

    Master Trapper/Predator Hunter

  • PredatorTalk Pro-staff
  • 3604 posts
  • Location:Up High in the Great Colorado Rocky Mountains Westcliffe,CO.

Posted 10 July 2020 - 04:31 PM

:roflmao:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:pawprint:


If you run you'll only die tired





"All Wild Things"



Nuisance Wildlife Control


#1472 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 11 July 2020 - 04:46 AM

Message to the Guy who Mugged me!

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go?s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.

Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1473 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 12 July 2020 - 04:39 AM

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols".


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1474 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 13 July 2020 - 05:20 AM

A woman was cleaning her attic with her cat by her side for company. Amongst the boxes and old papers she found a little lamp. She picked it up and wiped it off with her apron, when "POOF" out popped Genie. "I will grant you three wishes" proclaimed the Genie.

The woman thought for a moment and said "I wish I was the most beautiful 20 year old woman in the world, I wish I had more money than I knew what to do with, and I wish you would turn my cat into the most handsome prince around."

The Genie nodded and after a huge cloud of dust cleared, the Genie was gone and so was the lamp.

The woman looked at herself and she was certainly beautiful. She was surrounded with scads of money in Large Bills. She flung an armful in the air and watched it flutter down around her. She giggled with delight at the mountains of cash.

Then she turned to look where her adoring cat once stood. There in the feline's place stood a tall, dark, handsome man with chiseled features, a washboard stomach, broad shoulders, and a soccer-players-tush. She walked over to him, he put his arms around her, brushed his hand upon her cheek, looked deep into her eyes and whispered softly, "Now, aren't you sorry that you had me neutered?"


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1475 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 14 July 2020 - 06:05 AM

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.

"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed.

"No," said the genie, "You have been very bad recently, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."

"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want. But, I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles removed."

"Poof!"

And just like that... her ears were gone.


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1476 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 14 July 2020 - 06:06 AM

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, both of whom are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Biden for President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1477 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 15 July 2020 - 04:47 AM

A woman is sitting at her recently deceased husband's funeral.

A man leans into her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead", the woman replies.
The man stands, clears this throat, says "Plethora", and sits back down.
"Thanks", the woman says, "That means a lot".


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1478 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 16 July 2020 - 05:15 AM

Is it just my imagination

or is Nancy Pelosi looking more and more like Michael Jackson?


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1479 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 17 July 2020 - 05:19 AM

My son asked me what it's like to be married

so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!


#1480 kiyote

kiyote

    Major Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2946 posts
  • Location:idaho

Posted 18 July 2020 - 06:11 AM

In their later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said “I have some sad news.”

“Tell me, old friend” said the faithful Tonto.

“Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer”

“Bad spirits,” replied his old companion.

The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. “After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?”

“Chemo, sabe”


if you build your life upon a firm foundation , 

the storms of life won't blow it down!





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users