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Discussion Starter · #1,902 ·
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you walking around like this?"

The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff . I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ...so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy... '.

"And here I am
 

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A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.

He replied, "She is called Five Horses".

The man said, "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?"

The Old Indian answered, "It is an old Indian name. It means ...."

"NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
2 young Indian children were curious about how they got their names so the boy asks his mother how his sister, Meadows of Golden Peace got her name. The mother told them that on the day she was born she was laying in a beautiful meadow full of golden flowers and it was so peaceful. Curiously the mother then said " why do you ask this question Two Dogs Humping?"

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Tonto and the Lone Ranger are riding along when suddenly Tonto jumps from his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "buffaloes come". The Lone Ranger ask him " how in the world do you know that". Tonto responds "ear wet".

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????????
 

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Discussion Starter · #1,907 ·
Adam said to God, "God, look at Eve. She's so beautiful. Gorgeous face. Curvy sexy body.
She smells so nice. Nice breasts. Seductive hips.... why did you make her so attractive?"

Adam, my son, that's so you would love her.

"But God, why did you make her so stupid?"

Adam, my son, that's so she would love you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #1,908 ·
Pelosium: A major research laboratory has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science The new element has been named, Pelosium.

Pelosium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol for Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.
 

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I’d lmao if it wasn’t so on point
 
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Discussion Starter · #1,910 ·
yeah . wasn't sure it should go in the joke thread.
 

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Discussion Starter · #1,911 ·
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?

He's fully recovered.
 

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Discussion Starter · #1,912 ·
One of my co-workers got vaccinated

Co-worker: I don't feel so good

Me: What vaccine did you get?

Co-worker: The Johnson & Johnson

Me: Well what do you expect from taking two Johnsons at once?

Co-worker: But it was advertised as single prick

Me: Apparently they were dicking with you
 

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Ex wife…. She has nothing over me now. I’m sure she refers to me by names other than what my parents gave me. Probably, “guy who gave me a house” for starters.
 

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Discussion Starter · #1,916 ·
Most people don't think I am as old as I am...

until they hear me stand up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #1,917 ·
Ex wife…. She has nothing over me now. I'm sure she refers to me by names other than what my parents gave me. Probably, "guy who gave me a house" for starters.
hee who payes
 

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Ha--- I'm stuck out in the timber patch with the bears and the birds and Clifton lol. :smiley-chores017:

:pawprint:
 

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Is Clifton the new pup ?
 
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