jocularity
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My wife minored in psychology.
She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."
She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."
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4,527 Posts
I called Animal Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing four kittens."
“That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?”
“I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were, that would explain the suitcase.”
“That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?”
“I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were, that would explain the suitcase.”
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4,527 Posts
One winter morning...
...a man is having breakfast with his blonde wife. The radio announcer says, "We're expecting 4-6 inches of snow tonight. People should move their cars to the odd-numbered side of the street to accommodate the plowing." So the blonde goes out and moves their car to the odd number side of the road.
A week later, the man and his blonde wife are again enjoying their breakfast and, again, they hear on the radio, "We're expecting 6-8 inches of snow tonight. People should move their cars to the even-numbered side of the street to accommodate the plowing." So again, the blonde wife goes out and moves their car to the even-numbered side of the street.
Another week goes by, and again, they hear the news anchor announce, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow tonight. People should..." just then power goes out.
The blonde says to her husband, "Oh no! Now where are we supposed to move our car?"
Without looking up from his newspaper, the husband calmly says," Honey, why don't you just leave the car in the garage".
...a man is having breakfast with his blonde wife. The radio announcer says, "We're expecting 4-6 inches of snow tonight. People should move their cars to the odd-numbered side of the street to accommodate the plowing." So the blonde goes out and moves their car to the odd number side of the road.
A week later, the man and his blonde wife are again enjoying their breakfast and, again, they hear on the radio, "We're expecting 6-8 inches of snow tonight. People should move their cars to the even-numbered side of the street to accommodate the plowing." So again, the blonde wife goes out and moves their car to the even-numbered side of the street.
Another week goes by, and again, they hear the news anchor announce, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow tonight. People should..." just then power goes out.
The blonde says to her husband, "Oh no! Now where are we supposed to move our car?"
Without looking up from his newspaper, the husband calmly says," Honey, why don't you just leave the car in the garage".
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4,527 Posts
President Biden decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.
Sensing this, President B backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"
The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.
Sensing this, President B backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"
The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."
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