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Discussion Starter · #2,685 ·
I just learned that boxing is about two guys

fighting the urge to come out as gay...
I mean, two shirtless men fighting over a belt and a purse.
And they have to have another guy near them at all times whose entire job is to stop them from hugging
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,686 ·
Wife: "Not tonight dear, I have a headache."

HenryVIII: "Not to worry. We'll soon sort it out."
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,687 ·
I always see...

...more people walking into Walmart than I see walking out.

But the meat is cheap, so I don't ask questions.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,688 ·
On the first day of college, the Dean

addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
He says, "The female dormitory would be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory would be prohibited for the female students."

Continuing further, he says, "Anyone caught breaking this rule would be fined $50 the first time."
"Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time would be fined $100."
"Being caught the third time, would incur a hefty fine of $200."
"Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,689 ·
Mental Health Treatment

Put all the people who want to kill somebody in a room with the people who want to die.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,692 ·
A man asked his friend, "You look down. Why so sad?'
His friend replied, "I was watching porn and my wife walked through the door."
"Oh, I see," said the man. "But is that so bad?" He asked.
His friend looked at him and said, "She walked through the door on the video!"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,693 · (Edited)
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen won't open"
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edge with hammer"
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.
 
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