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Discussion Starter · #2,181 ·
Since YouTube decided to pull “Baby it’s Cold Outside” from its playlist because someone was offended, I feel that these other holiday songs are also on the chopping block.
How did our generation ever survive?
1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: subjecting minors to softcore porn
2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances
4. White Christmas? Racist
5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker
6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression
7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben
9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail
10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman
11. Do You Hear What I Hear: blatant disregard for the hearing impaired
12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow
13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: animal abuse
14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?
15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married…forced partnership
16. I'll Be Home For Christmas: Not if you are homeless. That's just Insensitive
17. Grandma got ran over by a reindeer: Homicide. Extremely violent and promotes alcoholism.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,182 ·
just announced : white house is throwing an orgy for christmas!

sigh.............. another super spreader event.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,184 ·
Things that tell the truth

Small Children
Drunks
Yoga Pants
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,185 ·
Suddenly Bob Dole started voting Democrat.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,186 ·
Biden warns Russia that if they invade Ukraine



America will evacuate
haphazardly and leave
86 billion in weapons
behind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,187 · (Edited)
I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3
in an international Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No, why would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,188 ·
What are the odds that Lou Gehrig would catch a

disease with his name?
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,189 ·
The continuing Kelloggs strike is getting serious. President Biden has weighed in and is asking the company to increase the $35/hr average wage for their employees to end the strike. Biden stated his belief that the company needs to do more to end the strike and get the production lines at Kelloggs producing his favorite cereal again.

After Biden finished speaking, the reporters rushed out of the room to get the story to their respective editors.

If I was reporting on this, I'd run it under the headline: "Froot Loops is for Froot Loops"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,190 ·
I asked my grandpa, "After 65yrs. you still call grandma darling, beautiful, and honey.What's
the secret?"
He said, " I forgot her name 5yrs. ago
and I'm scared to ask her !"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,191 ·
Her Diary

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me and not to worry about it. One the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say “I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:

Motorcycle won’t start…can’t figure out why.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,192 ·
A farmer went to milk his cow one morning. Just as the bucket was almost full, the cow knocked it over with her left leg. The farmer took some rope and tied the cow's left leg to a post on the left.

He sat down to milk the cow again and again as the bucket was full, the cow knocked it over this time with her right leg. So the farmer ties up her right leg to a post on the right.

He sits down for a third time and for the third time the cow knocks over the bucket this time with her tail. Since he's run out of rope, the farmer takes off his belt and uses it to tie the cow's tail to the rafter. Just as he gets done, his pants fall down as the wife walks in and...well somethings just can't be explained!
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,193 ·
COVID Christmas Carols

"Baby, there's COVID outside" -

"Do you fear what I fear?'

"Good Rest Ye Boosted Gentlemen"

"Faici Baby" - sung by Brian Stelter

"It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,194 ·
Vanna is beautiful, funny and has a nice personality.
....but she puzzles me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,195 ·
Aliens are probably monitoring our media.


98% of the internet is porn. Maybe they're not giving us anal probes. They're just trying to speak our language.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,196 ·
An old man lies on his deathbed.

The end is near and family is gathering.

His memories run through his head as he lies alone while people talk in the other room. Sad things, joyful things. So many joyful memories. He thinks he smells his favorite cookies baking. Wait, the smell is real! His wife is making cookies, something she has not done for years!

He rallies and with his last bits of strength, rises from bed to slowly drag himself to the kitchen. The aroma of the oven fills the room and seems to fuel his quest. He reaches for a cookie cooling on a rack and he looks over at his busy wife who just now noticed that he was in the room. At the sight of her husband, her eyes go wide, her pulse races...

and she reaches down, throws her sandal at him and screams, "THOSE ARE FOR COMPANY!"
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,197 ·
My wife asked me to play doctor !

So i made her wait outside the bedroom door for an hour !
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,198 ·
after many years of a multi million dollar study ...........

scientists have discovered two things in the air that will get a woman pregnant.
her legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #2,200 ·
Took her on a date, and she said I was cheap.

I told her "I'm not buying it".
 
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