Predator Hunting Forum banner
1981 - 1999 of 1999 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,981 ·
He who drinks a 5th on the 4th may not be able to go 4th on the 5th.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,982 ·
why did the indians ride appaloosas to war?

so they would be mad when they got there!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,983 ·
Banking Problems Hit Japan
Recently the Origami Bank has folded, and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, over 500 employees at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank.
 
  • Like
Reactions: youngdon

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,984 ·
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blond hair; the youngest is short with brown hair.

The husband was on his deathbed and said, “Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?”

The wife said, “I swear to all that is holy, he is your son.”

Then the husband died, and his wife muttered, “Thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,985 ·
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer.
In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.

"What did you take?" his priest asked.

"Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake."

"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?"

"No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,986 ·
Joe Biden wanted a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it. So, he instructed his people, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released and Biden was pleased. But within a few days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and he became furious. He called the people responsible and ordered them to investigate the matter. They checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported the problem to Joe. The report said, "There is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp. The problem is people are spitting on the wrong side."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,987 ·
Where do suicide bombers go after work?

Everywhere
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,988 ·
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia.
The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?"
The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently.
The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Now tell me, do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,989 ·
A boy goes to a strip club...
His mom finds out and gets very angry, but she asks him if he saw anything he wasn't supposed to see.
He says, "yeah, I saw dad".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,990 ·
I Just Came Out to My Friends and Family

as a proud member of the PDCSWBTGLRNHB community.

After the initial shock, they were all very supportive and realized that they too were

Privileged Deplorable Conservative Straight White Bible Thumping Gun Loving Red Neck Hill Billies.

We are now organizing a PDCSWBTGLRNHB pride parade to celebrate our liberation.

The rest of you Hicks are welcome to join in.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,991 ·
My wife said to me...

“If I ever get Alzheimer's I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me"

I said "That's the fifth time you've said that today"
 
  • Like
Reactions: hassell

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,992 ·
Delta airlines is changing their name to

Ebola Airlines to avoid association with Covid
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,993 ·
After old man Henry picked up on an old lady Johnson during church they went out on a date. After making their way up to lookout hill he parked the car and they started to make out like they did when they were teenagers.

When things got hot and heavy old man Henry said, "Hold on a minute honey", he slaps on a rubber and shoves some cotton in his ears and up his nose. He turns back around and said, " I'm ready honey ".

Now old lady Johnson gets a big smile on her face and said, " I know what the rubber is for we're about to git it on but what's the cotton in you ears and up your nose for?".

"Well honey, there's two things in life I can't stand.

The sound of a lady screaming

And the smell of burnt rubber"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,994 ·
My neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana.

I guess my property line isn’t where I thought it was.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
23,218 Posts
We know you knew dude !! 😂
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiyote

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,996 ·
An old farmer writes to his son in prison;
Dear son, this year i wont be able to plant potatoes because i can't dig the field by myself, i know if you were here, you would help me.
The son writes back; dad don't even think of digging the field because thats where i buried the money i stole.
The police read the letter and the next day the whole field was dug by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The following day the son wrote again....
Now plant your potatoes dad.. Its the best I can do from here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: hassell

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,997 ·
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
"Thank you, honey", she says.
"What would you like me to bring back for you?"
He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"
When the conference is over, he meets her at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good," she replies.
"And what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" she asks.
"The one I asked for- an Italian girl!"
"Oh, that," she says. "Well, I did what I could. Now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,998 ·
I was struggling to get my wife’s attention.

So I simply sat down and looked comfortable.

That did the trick.
 
  • Like
Reactions: youngdon

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,578 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,999 ·
I can't stand it when people don't know the
difference between your and you're...

There so stupid!
 
1981 - 1999 of 1999 Posts
Top