jocularity

108988 Views 2756 Replies 26 Participants Last post by hassell, 1 mo ago

kiyote

Discussion Starter · Jun 18, 2017

Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member, Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home and left it there all night.

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youngdon

· #101 · Sep 26, 2017

A woman had a heart attack and died before being resuscitated she saw God and asked him "why does my life have to end today "?
God replied " oh don't worry you have another 30 years before your life is over" As she thought about the next 30 years she decided that she should have a tummy tuck, a nose job, collagen in her lips, a boob job, liposuction and a makeover. Once it was all over and she felt better she decided to go out and show off her new look. As she stepped out onto the street she was hit by a bus and killed instantly. When she got to see God she was mad and yelled at him. She reminded him he had said she had another 30 years to live. God replied "Giiiirrrlllll I dint even recognize you"

youngdon

· #122 · Oct 27, 2017

Hahahaha. !

youngdon

· #146 · Nov 22, 2017

3. First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them.

"In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and sucked his finger. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,

"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

youngdon

· #155 · Dec 3, 2017

Wow....

youngdon

· #179 · Dec 19, 2017

And that's when the fight started !

youngdon

· #224 · Jan 29, 2018

:roflmao:

youngdon

· #238 · Feb 11, 2018

LOL.....I'd say we got the better end of the deal on this one as God also gave us ear plugs

Reactions: 1

youngdon

· #252 · Feb 21, 2018

Good thing you didn't wound her Skip, She'd have chomped down on your short leg.....

youngdon

· #256 · Feb 22, 2018

OUCH !

youngdon

· #270 · Mar 5, 2018

kiyote said:
I farted while lifting a heavy object today I had to apologize to the guy at the urinal next to me.

I'm sure he was shocked, hopefully you didn't alter his aim.

Reactions: 1

youngdon

· #273 · Mar 6, 2018

Wow........ that's bad.....

youngdon

· #288 · Mar 14, 2018

I will forward this to my wife....she's blond..... She hates football....She is also out of town for a few days, so she'll have a chance to forget.

Reactions: 2

youngdon

· #290 · Mar 14, 2018

Here is her description of a football game. Run fall down, run fall down, throw the ball, catch it fall down. Kick the ball, other team catches it, run fall down.

youngdon

· #323 · Apr 11, 2018

kiyote said:
Son: What's the difference between love and marriage? Father: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.

LOL

youngdon

· #336 · Apr 22, 2018

Reactions: 1

youngdon

· #381 · Jun 3, 2018

Electric fence charger $85

Big wheel POS mower $250

This story PRICELESS

youngdon

· #418 · Jul 10, 2018 (Edited by Moderator)

Wrong guy !.......He missed the 8th and 9th...... I sure hope Kiyote isn't having fire issues.

youngdon

· #420 · Jul 10, 2018

Hey, You earned it I'm sure.

youngdon

· #422 · Jul 12, 2018 (Edited by Moderator)

From a friend of mine......

Did you ever look at someone and think to yourself, Gee, that person has really had a hard life, I hope I never look that old ?

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 50-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

AS SOON AS I SAW HIM IN PERSON, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG!', HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, '1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THAT

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED FACED,

FAT,

GRAY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT

SLOB

ASKED,

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

See less See more

Reactions: 1

youngdon

· #425 · Jul 13, 2018

Or maybe you faked the whole thing just to get a new computer ?

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